Sharing my Truth

How do you share your story when you’ve always been the keeper of secrets?

Secrets that make you feel like no one would believe you.

For a long time, I believed my family would never consider my truth—because I wasn’t pretty. I wasn’t the popular one. I was the fat one.

It wasn’t until I turned 40 that I finally told my mother that a family member had molested me. She was beautiful, charismatic, and popular. People believed everything she said, even when she lied and me, I kept quiet. I believed it would be my fault if I spoke. That shame would be all anyone saw. That the words people used to tear me down would be justified if they knew what had happened.

Shame silenced me for years.

It taught me that I was unworthy. That people could do anything to me, and I was expected to accept it.

At 18, I was raped.

I remember lying on the hospital bed, surrounded by doctors and police officers asking, “Are you sure you said no?” The only person who believed me in that moment was the nurse who held my hand as I endured the rape kit.

I was just a young woman, unprepared for how cruel the world could be. I didn’t tell anyone. I carried the weight alone.

Later, my mom found me collapsed on the bathroom floor, hemorrhaging. She rushed me to the hospital. That’s when we learned I was pregnant—and having a miscarriage. That was the moment I had to finally say it:

A man hurt me. A man didn’t listen when I said no.

That wasn't the last time. I was raped again and again. Each time, the silence grew heavier.

Sometimes, when the world keeps hurting you, your story just… stays inside.

It festers; it grows into a wound that doesn’t heal.

But I’m here to tell you: You can share your truth.

The world needs your story. Not for their comfort—but for your healing, because it’s YOUR story and you deserve to own it.

Who I Am

My name is Linsay Hill. I am a community healer, a community auntie, and a big sister to anyone who needs to feel seen and loved.

I am a SURVIVOR—of domestic violence, sexual assault, and molestation. I share my story not because it defines me, but because it’s a part of what made me who I am.

I am:

• The auntie who will tell you that you are loved.

• The sister who will hold you when you need a hug.

• The mother who will wipe away your tears and remind you that you are worthy.

And if no one told you today—

You are loved.

I love you.

Supporting Survivors of Sexual Violence: A Guide for Sexual Violence Awareness Month

Key Ways to Offer Your Support and Love

April is the start of Sexual Violence Awareness Month, a crucial period dedicated to raising awareness about sexual violence and supporting those who have endured such trauma. It’s a time for us to stand together, offer our unwavering support, and advocate for the survivors' needs and rights. Here are key ways to support those you love during this important month and beyond.

Medical Care

If a survivor decides to seek medical care at a hospital, it’s essential to be there for them. Accompany them if they need your presence, but allow them to lead the way regarding their needs. If they request a medical advocate, ensure their care is taken seriously and their rights are respected. Your role is to provide comfort and support, facilitating their access to the necessary medical care without overstepping their autonomy.

Police Interviews

Supporting a survivor during police interviews is crucial, as these interactions can be profoundly distressing. Hold their hand, offer emotional support, and help them share their story. If the police or others involved start to accuse the survivor, it’s vital to use your voice to stand up for them. Remind everyone that the survivor is not at fault for the trauma they’ve experienced. Your advocacy can make a significant difference in how they are treated and perceived.

Communicating with Family and Friends

Informing a survivor’s family and friends about their experience can be a sensitive and challenging task. Families and friends might not always know what to say or believe the truth of the survivor. While you can’t control their reactions, you can support the survivor in their healing journey. Encourage open, compassionate conversations and remind everyone involved of the importance of empathy and understanding.

Listening Without Responding

Sometimes, the best support you can offer is simply to listen. Resist the urge to comment on everything the survivor shares. Instead, be present, listen without judgment, and provide a safe space for them to express their feelings. After they’ve shared intimate details, ask what they need and how you can help. Your willingness to listen and your patience will demonstrate your unwavering support.

Understanding the Long Road Ahead

Survivors of sexual assault face a long and often arduous journey toward healing. Your support during this process is invaluable. While it may be challenging to witness their pain and struggles, your continuous presence and love will be a beacon of hope as they emerge from the darkness. Remember that healing doesn’t happen overnight; it requires patience, understanding, and a steadfast commitment to their well-being.

Offering Emotional Support

Emotional support is paramount for a survivor's recovery. Show your love and care through actions, words, and consistent presence. Validate their feelings and reassure them that their responses to trauma are normal. Encourage them to seek therapy or counseling if they wish, and offer to help them find resources. Your empathy and dedication play a crucial role in their healing journey.

Advocacy and Education

Advocating for survivors involves educating yourself and others about sexual violence and its impacts. Share resources, articles, and information about consent, trauma, and healing. Participate in events and campaigns during Sexual Violence Awareness Month to raise awareness and promote change. By educating yourself, you become a better ally and can more effectively support those around you.

Creating Safe Spaces

One of the most impactful ways to support survivors is by creating safe spaces where they can express themselves freely without fear of judgment or retaliation. Ensure that your home, workplace, and community are environments that respect and protect survivors. Advocate for policies and practices that prioritize their safety and well-being.

Supporting Self-Care Practices

Encourage survivors to engage in self-care practices that promote healing and well-being. Whether it's through physical activities, creative outlets, or relaxation techniques, support their efforts to find peace and regain a sense of normalcy. Offer to join them in these activities, providing companionship and reinforcing the importance of self-care.

Respecting Boundaries

It’s crucial to respect the boundaries that survivors set. Understand that they may need space, time, and privacy to process their trauma. Avoid pushing them to share more than they are comfortable with, and honor their requests regarding how they wish to be supported. Your respect for their boundaries is a key component of your support.

Facilitating Access to Resources

Help survivors access resources such as hotlines, support groups, legal aid, and medical services. Research and provide information about local and national organizations that specialize in supporting sexual violence survivors. Your assistance in navigating these resources can significantly ease their burden and empower them in their recovery.

Promoting Empowerment

Empower survivors by reinforcing their strength and resilience. Celebrate their achievements, whether big or small, and remind them of their worth and capabilities. Support their decisions and encourage them to take steps that lead to reclaiming their lives. Your encouragement can help them regain confidence and a sense of control over their future.

Sexual Violence Awareness Month is a time to reflect, learn, and take action. By offering your support in these ways, you contribute to the healing and empowerment of survivors. Remember, your compassion, patience, and unwavering support make a profound difference in their lives.

Love is not Painful